Am I Being Useful?

There is a scene in Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End that I really love.

Fern asks Frieren, “Am I being useful? (私は役に立てていますか？)” Frieren asks Fern why she asks such a thing.

Fern replies, “Because I can’t manipulate magic as flawlessly as you do, Mistress Frieren.”

Frieren responds, “The gap in experience over time is something that can’t be overcome. But Fern, your spell-casting speed is faster than mine. It brings battles to a quicker end.”

A few things happened recently that kept bringing this scene back to mind, so I decided to write it down.

Being Useful

When Fern asks, “Am I being useful?”—it resonated deeply with my own recent goal: “helping others or the company grow.” Ever since watching that scene, this question has been lingering in my mind.

As I mentioned in my post Gratitude, growing up in my family background meant I often felt “lesser than others.” I needed help from other people to accomplish almost anything, and that upbringing left me with an inferiority complex. Because of this, studying was the only thing I could do relatively well that didn’t demand harsh prerequisites.

It wasn’t until I entered the workforce that I gradually gained the ability to help others. Although I’m still just a salaried worker, I occasionally receive feedback from readers telling me that my articles helped them tremendously. To me, that is the greatest encouragement.

Yet looking back, I realize how different I am compared to five years ago. Five years ago, all I cared about was development and technical skills. My focus was purely on solving engineering problems, never considering things from a team perspective. Learning new tools and technologies is certainly exciting, but five years later, I’ve found that helping others grow gives me a far deeper sense of fulfillment. Especially when I see someone quietly adopting my approaches and ways of thinking, I feel an immense sense of accomplishment, and I feel truly fortunate to have shared a part of the journey with them.

Being Fine with Others Being Better than You

I don’t know what Frieren was truly thinking, but from the perspective of a master who has lived for over a thousand years, admitting that someone else surpasses you in some way is extraordinarily difficult for most people.

I suppose I used to be that kind of person, too.

This is all too common in the tech industry. It feels like everyone is constantly competing to prove who’s superior—comparing educational backgrounds, resumes, outputs, compensation, and LeetCode rankings. Sometimes I wonder if this circle can be compared to the demons in Frieren: arrogant, prideful, yet petty.

Early on, I was deeply poisoned by this mindset. When I wrote about obtaining my permanent residency in Japan, I lamented that surrounded by brilliant people, it feels like there is always someone stronger than you.

People won’t say it out loud, but they silently evaluate you by your job title and technical prowess. When you post on social media about a promotion, they privately think you’re nothing special; when you share that you passed the JLPT, they brush it off, thinking foreign language skills aren’t a big deal. They simply don’t want to feel like their own efforts are receiving less recognition than they deserve.

This worship of sheer strength is especially prevalent in the tech community. As long as someone is capable enough, people don’t care if they are a total asshole. There’s no right or wrong here—perhaps that mindset makes someone better suited to be a founder, where company growth is the singular objective and everything else is just noise you must tune out to survive.

Personally, though, I much prefer watching people grow stronger, and then seeing them give back to society.