Blue Period and my Weakness

Recently, the new animated series on Netflix, "Blue Period," has been captivating to watch. The story revolves around a high school student who discovers his love for painting and aims to enter Tokyo University of the Arts. I spent an entire day binge-watching all the episodes currently available.

Upon reflection, I realize I share a similar trait with the main character.

I’m not particularly skilled at playing the piano or guitar, my command of Japanese and English isn’t impressive, my programming isn't top-notch, my cooking is just average, and my YouTube channel hasn't been managed well. Although I did well in high school, I didn’t have any grand goals, and to make matters worse, I didn’t perform well in college and even extended my graduation. If I had to summarize it in three words, it would be "jack of all trades, master of none."

To outsiders, it might seem like I have a lot of skills, but the reality is I lack confidence and know that someone like me, an average person, needs to invest more time and effort to reach what others consider a standard level. The protagonist is fortunate to find his purpose in the anime, while I’m still drifting aimlessly.

"Having hobbies you enjoy is fine; I think that’s the adult perspective. Isn’t it normal to spend a lot of time on what you love?" Sure, everyone can preach platitudes, but the kind of despair that comes from being so broke you can't even withdraw money from an ATM can't be resolved with a few wise sayings.

Recently, a term called "High Earners, Not Rich Yet" (HENRY) has emerged, referring to middle to upper-income households earning over $100,000 a year. While I’m still quite far from this income bracket, I do earn above the average salary, which gives me a bit more financial freedom.

The phenomenon of conspicuous consumption has been well explained by this:

Thinking it over, an increase in salary often leads to a disproportionate rise in income tax and pension contributions. So, although my income looks higher on paper, after deducting taxes, pensions, student loans, and credit debt, it’s not that different from the average income group. I believe that higher salaries are usually earned through skilled work, yet this group faces the highest tax burdens, unlike the truly wealthy, who can evade taxes through banks and corporations. Those who truly enter the wealthy class often do so not through labor and skill but by manipulating capital; this is the group that should be taxed more.

With rising consumption taxes, inflation, and scarcity of goods, it’s the salaried class (the middle class) that ultimately suffers, revealing that at our core, we are all quite similar.

Returning to the concept of "Blue Period," I feel that even now, I can't articulate what I truly love. Just thinking about it makes me feel quite melancholic.

Similar to the episode about mental breakdown, the external expectations and pressures can indeed affect both mind and body. After spending so long in the same industry, it’s inevitable to feel confused about what you want to pursue.

Perhaps in the near future, I will consider venturing into different fields. I might still write code or completely shift to a different industry or area, to see what I can discover. "Those who have goals and can work tirelessly are unbeatable," but how much longer must I wait to find my goal? わかりません。