This book is considered a classic among classics, and I finally finished reading it after a long time.

The ideas conveyed in the book are somewhat like transforming oneself into an altruist. I believe in considering myself as an altruistic person, and I also believe that such traits indeed make it easier to make friends and influence others.

The book is divided into four major sections:

• Basic Skills
• How to Make People Like You
• How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
• How to Be a Leader

1. Basic Skills

1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
2. Give others what they want. People desire:
   • Food, sleep
   • Health
   • Money
   • Life
   • Sexual satisfaction
   • Happiness and health for their children
   • Recognition
3. Sincere and heartfelt appreciation.
4. Arouse in others the desire for what you want.
5. The best way to make people like you is to "be genuinely interested in them."
6. Remembering others' birthdays and expressing gratitude is a good practice.

2. How to Make People Like You

1. Maintain interest in others.
2. The power of a smile.
3. Remembering others' names as much as possible.
4. Become a good listener.
5. Make others feel important.

3. How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (I don't fully agree. I believe that debating under mutual respect can be beneficial and even improve relationships. However, trivial arguments can be ignored.)
2. Don't prove others wrong or show an attitude of "I'm smarter than you," as it doesn't help in resolving matters or maintaining relationships.
3. When pointing out someone's mistakes, you can add, "I may be wrong, I often make mistakes." You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong.
4. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
5. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view - something that many people struggle to do, practicing empathy.
6. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
7. Appeal to nobler motives - you can trigger thinking by appealing to higher motives.
8. Dramatize your ideas - exaggerate your thoughts to make them more vivid. Lack of drama may weaken the impact of communication.

4. How to Be a Leader

1. Before pointing out someone's mistakes, start with praise and sincere appreciation.
2. How to criticize without being hated: indirectly point out others' mistakes.
3. Start by talking about your own mistakes.
4. Nobody likes to receive orders: ask questions instead of giving direct commands.
5. Save face for others - don't embarrass them publicly.
6. Give others a good reputation, which will make them strive harder to prove themselves.
7. Use encouragement - make mistakes seem easy to correct.
8. Make others happy to do what you suggest.

Conclusion

I think this book highlights some details that I hadn't noticed before. Some aspects are basic principles of being a good person, while others seem overly altruistic and susceptible to being taken advantage of. However, I feel that my mindset has become more open, and I should make it easier for myself to trust others, which may bring unexpected surprises.

I consider myself somewhat unlucky when it comes to having mentors in life who teach me how to manage relationships and make friends. From elementary school to university, I didn't have many friends. It wasn't until recent years, through reading and absorbing knowledge on my own, that I started to change.

Speaking of this, I want to talk about something that happened recently.

I rarely respond to Instagram stories from people other than my friends. However, I happened to see a YouTuber I follow share a story that I could relate to, so I replied. Unexpectedly, he replied to me and even started a conversation. We talked about various aspects of living and working in Japan.

He is a YouTuber with hundreds of thousands of subscribers, and for him, I'm just one of many fans, a complete stranger. Yet, he believed that I wasn't a weirdo and was willing to chat with me for so long. This small act had a significant impact on me. If I had just scrolled past without responding, would anything have happened?

There's no shame in being an opportunist. I enjoy the connections between people, and I have received many opportunities through networking. I cherish everything I have now and hope to put the book's advice into practice, not by forcing myself, but by genuinely wanting to do so.

My life has made me a bit wary of trusting strangers because both I and my family have been deceived and suffered due to strangers. After finishing this book, I wrote a letter to Jake and Surma from HTTP 203, a Google Developers program that I have been following for a long time. They mainly talk about web development and browser-related topics, and their discussions are deep and humorous, providing a lot of learning material. After a day or two, both of them replied to me. I didn't ask for any referrals; I just wanted to express my gratitude.

The news of the passing of Liang Gexin and Chen Hao made me realize that if we don't express our gratitude in a timely manner, it may be too late. Both of them were bloggers I frequently referred to during my student days. If you also have favorite creators, influencers, or loved ones whom you want to thank, why not write them a letter? It can have a remarkable effect. (I also welcome emails from anyone).